i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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