You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
