I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
