HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
