What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
