I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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