hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
