Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
