I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
