I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
