Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
