ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
