I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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