I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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