I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Four minutes until I can fart!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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