She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
