Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
