so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
