Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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