Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
