can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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