Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
