hell yes lets make some ravioli
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
