Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
