I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
