Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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