i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
