hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
