so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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