i think my tv is drunk
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
