His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
