I just made out with a guy for $7.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
