i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
