what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
