Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
