Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize