At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
