Your face is a jimmy john
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
