It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
