i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
