You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
