After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
