He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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