no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
