yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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