if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
