Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
