FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
