someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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