Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize