Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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