I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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