I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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