Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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