So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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