He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
