any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
