ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
