I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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