I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
