Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
