fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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