it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
