So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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