Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
