I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All the doctor said was why
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
