apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize