It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
