just tell him i said nine months
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
