You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize