so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
