So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
