Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
