my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
