Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
